penny stories.
All Content Created By: michael pope
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Though the Teeth!
EXT. VOLCANO — DAY
Two men IROQUOIS (30s) and HARVEY (30s) are on the side of a volcano. They can barely keep their balance it looks like it will erupt at any second.
IROQUOIS
If we don’t get off this volcano we’ll both die, Harvey!
HARVEY
No way, Iroquois, we ain’t leaving! You gotta pay for what you’ve done, pay through the teeth!
IROQUOIS
You’re mad, Harvey!
The two men square off and lunge at each other and begin to fight. The volcano beings to erupt. Boulders and ash are falling around the men.
HARVEY
You’re going to die for what you did, Iroquois!
The ground shakes violently, personifying Harvey’s rage.
INT. DINER — DAY
a few hours earlier.
We’re close up on a TV. An ANCHORWOMAN (30s) is broadcasting a breaking story.
ANCORWOMAN
Geologists believe that the volcano could erupt at any moment; citing that as the cause of a series of minor earthquakes around the area. Local officials are urging residents living within the perimeter of the volcano to evacuate their houses and find refuge outside of the area. Many, though, are staying put for fear of losing their possessions.
As we pull out we see that Harvey is sitting at the counter drinking a glass of apple juice. He looks pensive as he glances away from the TV and down at his juice. He’s dressed almost exactly like Indiana Jones.
EARL (40s) a slightly overweight man, who owns the Diner and carries himself in that manner, walks over.
EARL
You sure you don’t want anything more than that there apple juice?
Harvey doesn’t respond for a few beats. He takes a sip of his juice and then finally looks at Earl.
HARVEY
I’m looking for a man. Maybe you’ve seen him?
EARL
I know just about everyone in this town. Just about.
HARVEY
He goes by the name “Iroquois”. You know him?
EARL
What’s he done to you?
Harvey pounds his fist on the table’s counter. Some people look over.
HARVEY
Have you seen him or not?
EARL
Sure. I seen ‘em. He lives on the side of—
Suddenly the ground starts to shake. Earl braces himself. Harvey lifts his juice glass so it won’t spill over. Once it stops Harvey takes a sip and then puts it back down.
EARL (CONT’D)
Like I was saying. He lives on the side of that volcano. But well, you know. It’s too dangerous to go over there. I’m sure he’s left too.
HARVEY
I’m sure he hasn’t. You don’t know Iroquois. He’s the badest man I’ve ever met.
EARL
What exactly did he do to you, son?
HARVEY
The name’s “Harvey”.
EARL
What’d he do to you, Harvey?
HARVEY
Something that he’s gotta pay for. Pay through the teeth…
Harvey looks like he’s burning a hole through the counter with his eyes. He finally gulps down the rest of his apple juice and gets up to leave.
HARVEY (CONT’D)
Thanks for the juice.
As Harvey leaves the ground beings to shake again.
EXT. VOLCANO — DAY
Harvey walks up the side of the volcano. It’s covered in thick brush and his footing is constantly compromised. The ground shakes bellow him, but he’s determined to get his man.
Finally Harvey comes up to a rundown shack. There’s a sign in front that reads: IROQUOIS’ HOUSE. STAY AWAY!!
Harvey stops in front of it and then looks up at the volcano. It’s dark and ominous that danger will come soon. Harvey takes off his jacket and hat and throws them on the ground. He squares himself up.
HARVEY
(shouting)
IROQUOIS! COME OUT AND FACE ME!
IROQUOIS (O.C.)
I’m right behind you, Harvey.
Harvey turns around to see Iroquois pointing a gun at him. Iroquois looks like the stereotypical villain. Black hair, black clothes, pale face and an evil smirk. The only remarkable thing about him is that his left eye is blue while the other is brown, almost black.
Harvey’s expression changes; like he’s been psyching himself up for this moment for so long, but now that it’s finally here he doesn’t know what to do.
HARVEY
Iroquois…
(beat)
Have you been waiting for me?
IROQUOIS
I thought you would come sooner. But when I woke up today I knew for sure.
HARVEY
It took me a long time to find your hideout, Iroquois. But now you’ll pay through the teeth for trying to kill my mom!
IROQUOIS
How do you plan to kill me, Harvey, if I have the gun?
Harvey stares Iroquois down. Suddenly the ground shakes and Iroquois is brought off balance. Harvey takes this opportunity to lunge at him.
The gun falls out of Iroquois’ grip and slides down the side of the volcano into obscurity. The two men wrestle on the ground as the earth shakes.
Finally Iroquois kicks Harvey off of him. The two men struggle amidst the trembling to find their footing. Once they’re balanced the ground, once again, cease to shake.
There’s a beat of intense silence between Harvey and Iroquois.
HARVEY
Why did you do it, Iroquois? Why did you try to kill my mom? We used to be best friends.
IROQUOIS
Cause I’m a bad guy, Harvey. And what better way to be the badest guy around than to kill your best friends mother!
The two men stare daggers at each other. The earth begins to shake again, more violently than ever. The volcano is preparing to erupt. This brings us back to the beginning again.
IROQUOIS
If we don’t get off this volcano we’ll both die, Harvey!
HARVEY
No way, Iroquois, we ain’t leaving! You gotta pay for what you’ve done, pay through the teeth!
IROQUOIS
You’re mad, Harvey!
The two men square off and lunge at each other and begin to fight. The volcano beings to erupt. Boulders and ash are falling around the men.
HARVEY
You’re going to die for what you did, Iroquois!
Finally lava beings to spew from the volcano. Harvey beings to punch Iroquois in the face, making a sound effect as he does it.
HARVEY
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Iroquois does he best to deflect the shots and finally wrestles Harvey off him. As the lava gets closer and closer the two men tussle on the ground. Iroquois has Harvey pinned on the ground. The lava is just feet away now.
IROQUOIS
You weren’t going to kill me that easily, Harvey! Now you are the one that will die!
Iroquois throws a quick succession of blows at Harvey, also making a sound effect.
IROQUOIS
Bam-bam-bam-bam-bam!
Harvey deflects the blows and notices that the lava is moments away from consuming them. In a last ditch attempt Harvey uses all of his strength to knock Iroquois on the ground. Harvey stands on his stomach just as the lava begins to engulf Iroquois and jumps to safety. Iroquois begins to howl with pain.
IROQUOIS
Ahh! It burns! I’m burning alive!
Suddenly his cries stop. Harvey moves his hands together dusting them off.
HARVEY
(sotto)
That’s the last of you, Iroquois…
IROQUOIS (O.C.)
Not so fast, Harvey!
Harvey turns around to see Iroquois standing in the lava unscathed.
IROQUOIS
I’m not dead after all.
HARVEY
No, that’s impossible! You’re standing in lava. You burned alive.
IROQUOIS
That’s why I made this lava-proof suit!
Iroquois displays his lava-resistant suit with pride.
HARVEY
No, you can’t make a suit stronger than lava! The suit would melt.
IROQUOIS
Nah-ah! I made it myself and tested it on the lava before you got here. It’s melt-proof.
Harvey stamps his foot down.
HARVEY
Come on, Ben, that’s not fair! You’re a baddie, you have to die!
EXT. LIVINGROOM — DAY
Two kids, BEN (6) and TIM (6) are playing make believe. Harvey and Iroquois are just action figures and the volcano is actually made out of papier-mache.
BEN
Who says, Tim? Huh? The bad guy doesn’t always have to die.
TIM
Yes, he does! That’s why he’s the bad guy. Otherwise he’d be the good guy!
BEN
Well we didn’t even finish the fight yet! Maybe I still die anyway…
TIM
You think?
BEN
I dunno we gotta finish it!
TIM
Yeah, okay…
Tim is about to go back to the volcano, but Ben stops him realizing something.
BEN
Wait. The volcano has stopped erupting we need more vinegar and baking soda.
(beat)
We should use the whole box this time so the esplosion is bigger!
TIM
Yeah, okay!
(calling out)
HEY, MOM, WE NEED MORE VINEGAR AND BAKING SODA FOR THE VOLCANO!
(beat)
BRING THE WHOLE BOX, THOUGH!
THE END
Cows & Flies
To Whom It May Concern:
Have you ever stared at a fly on the wall? Just saw it standing there on the wall; suspended. You of course don’t know if it’s staring at you, but you’re staring at it alright. It’s a purely animal connection between you and the fly. Both of you for that single moment in time are both connected by eyes. By animal instinct. You may be tracking it so you can kill it, but none-the-less you have bonded with the fly. It, in a way, has brought you down to its level. For that instant you are…pure animal…there’s no other word really for it. It’s amazing how we don’t react when we kill an insect, except maybe with disgust or fear. I guess it’s cause they’re never cute, you know? We end a life just like any other life. Certainly not as much weight as a human, but definitely as much as a cow. What’s the difference between a cow’s life and a fly’s life? One is just a nuisance to us so it’s okay to kill it. I wonder how vegetarians feel about this? They’d probably say they wouldn’t kill it, but I don’t believe them. People are flies and cows. What’s the difference really? Cause we can talk and ruminate on the existence of god…sss? Gods – I mean to say gods. I wonder if evolution was a scientist; how would it feel? Would it be like “holy shit I took one small microbe and eventually created intelligent life?” Or would it be more like “holy shit I should have stopped at cows and flies.” That’s a thought. Our genesis could be one horrible mistake, there’s just no one here to clue us in.
Sincerely,
Jacob Nolan
